Mennonite Central Committee

Volunteerism…. is it about me??

For the past nine winters, John and I have been involved in SOOP (Service Opportunities for Older Persons), traveling to Arizona and finding meaningful work while enjoying a reprieve from the Manitoba winters. Our son, in one of his cynical moments, once said to us, “Everybody’s in it for themselves. Even when you and dad go to volunteer – it’s basically about getting away from here and a ‘feel good’ that you’re doing something.” That statement has often haunted me. I find such immense joy and genuine satisfaction in the work we engage in – is it really only about me?? I hope not … I have come to believe that, in part, God graces us with enjoyment as an affirmation of our gifts and as a way to encourage us to continue using them.

I met Carmen* (not her real name) at the Literacy Volunteer Centre where I tutored this winter. She is a young mom of 4 children and has been the US for a number of years. Her 2 youngest children were born there. She realizes that the ticket to a ‘better life’ for her family involves learning English. This has been a challenge for her - as it is for many immigrant women. They are basically relegated to the domestic jobs in the hospitality industry so there are few opportunities for education. However, she had determined that once her children were all in school, it would be her turn to learn. So she enrolled at the center, where English and GED are taught, mostly via computer programs. When I first arrived, she opted to work with me, one-on-one. I had found materials in the cupboard (fortunately I was familiar with many of the materials from previous experience in other settings). She was eager and worked feverishly, trying to get the pronunciation, grammar and correct usage. Whenever she attended, she would come to my work table. The second day she brought 2 notebooks, one for herself and one for me. Since I don’t speak Spanish, I would draw pictures, do a lot of phonetic writing, to communicate so I used a lot of paper! She diligently reviewed these notes at home. When we left Phoenix for a short time to go to Palm Desert, she expressed her appreciation with a card including a personal note “I love you”. At the end of our 2 ½ month stay, she gave me a huge, warm embrace and presented me with a wonderful Blessing, part of which reads : May you love, honor and cherish the preciousness and uniqueness of your own being and of each other being in the world… I send you light to hold you ,to hold you in love. Signed, “For a especial person”
Clearly, someone had helped her select this poem since much of the vocabulary was beyond her understanding. With tears in her eyes, she said,“ I doing so good, now you have to go. I will never forget you.”
That day I had a sense that perhaps I was not being fair by stepping into their lives so briefly, and then disappearing…

*Lee, a bright, cheerful Korean woman, recognized the value of practicing oral English (not available on the computer programs) and appreciated so much the time I spent with her. After the first class, she wanted my phone number… “I need you more. I pay you!” she said. On the third session, she brought a gift of Korean rice cake (dessert). We only had about 5 or 6 sessions in total since she started in March. On the final day, she presented me with a beaded fish which she had made. We had earlier discussed the word ‘symbol’ in context of St. Patrick’s Day. As she gave me the gift and clutched my hand, she said, “I Christian, you Christian.” I was moved and challenged anew about how much our everyday life says about us. She pressed me to give her the dates of my return next year – she wanted to continue our classes! Again there was a heaviness in my heart - a feeling of abandoning someone who had come to rely on my help!

There were other students who impacted me – a young man who had dropped out of school in Grade Four . Neither his parents or the law had been able to keep him there. Now, in his early 20’s, he desperately wanted to learn how to read, but there were few support systems in place for him and he lacked discipline and work skills. We had made some progress and developed a level of trust. He confided about his past life of crime and his intention to turn his life around. One day he asked me whether I was getting paid to do this. When I explained that I was a volunteer, he wanted to know why I would do that.
“Everybody needs a reason to get up in the morning”, I explained.
“Why don’t you take up surfing?” was his response. He had obviously overlooked the fact that I was 65 years old!

*Lisa, a young woman from Yugoslavia, had been expelled from high school because she got into a fight after someone made derogatory statements about her mother. She was trying to get her GED at the centre and struggled with Math, in particular. She was largely responsible for the household, it appeared and had to help pay the rent, bail her brother out when his credit card was stolen, etc. I was inspired by her allegiance to her family, her meticulous notebook and her obvious caring about the other people in the class. I will miss her cheery, “Here comes my favourite teacher!” Aside from teaching fractions, my role was to listen to her stories and offer encouragement. I’m concerned that she’ll be overwhelmed and simply give up.

The ‘other side’ of volunteering is that it’s hard to say “that’s all I can give right now”. I have been the recipient of so much in my life - it’s hard to imagine the tough time many people have simply because they are disadvantaged by language. It’s so easy for me to help. I know the language well, I have teaching skills, I love the interaction with adults who want to learn, and at this stage of life I have the luxury of good health, time and travel . Do I do enough with all of these blessings?

Thank you, God, for affirming who I am through Carmen, Lee, Lisa and all those wonderful people I‘ve been privileged to meet. They have taught me so much about myself, about life and about You!

 

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