Mennonite
Central
Committee

Home shouldn't be a place that hurts

Marla Pierson Lester
September 18, 2006

 

As a parish nurse for Bahia Vista Mennonite Church in Sarasota, Florida, Carolyn Stoll's job has been more than just providing medical care.

In the process of answering health questions, providing blood pressure, medicine and weight consultations and accompanying people undergoing medical procedures, she began to hear of people's struggles.

And what she heard was not just about their health struggles, but very personal issues, such as their struggles with domestic violence.

"Whatever you find in the community in general, you will find in a congregation," Stoll said. "It (domestic violence) isn't often spoken about. But it needs to be."

Convinced the church needed to talk openly about domestic violence, Stoll added a session on the issue to a series of Wednesday night gatherings at the church earlier this year which addressed difficult topics like mental illness and suicide.

On the night of the domestic violence discussion, the group watched and discussed a film in which 14 people shared their experiences with emotional, verbal, financial or physical abuse.

She also handed out copies of a Mennonite Central Committee (MCC) U.S. brochure, "Home Shouldn't be a Place that Hurts," and a representative from a local counseling center spoke.

The brochure has become an important tool for Stoll in getting the message out. The brochures remain available in the entryway to the sanctuary. She hands them out in training sessions for Sunday school and Vacation Bible school teachers and volunteers, as well as preschool and nursery staff. She distributed the brochure during a mini-health fair held at the church in conjunction with Mennonite Mutual Aid's Stewardship University.

The brochure offers guidelines on what to do if you are being abused, if you are abusive, if you know of abuse or if you are a church leader. It defines abuse as one person hurting, degrading or controlling another and lists signs of healthy relationships and abusive relationships.

"My hope was that our people could think of the church as a safe place to tell their story," Stoll said. "A church is a place for healing, all kinds of healing."

With statistics showing that a quarter to a third of all marriages in the U.S. have some sort of violence in them, "chances are everyone in a congregation would know someone affected by this," said Linda Gehman Peachey, director of Women's Advocacy for MCC U.S. "Churches need to be much more aware of what they can do to be helpful in these situations."

Peachey hopes more congregations sponsor similar events as held at Bahia Vista Mennonite church, particularly during October which is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

"Home Shouldn't be a Place that Hurts" is available in English or Spanish and can be ordered free plus shipping from the online MCC Store. Holders are also available so the brochures can be placed in bathroom stalls, where they can be picked up without fear or embarrassment.

 

More Domestic Violence & Sexual Abuse resources