Mennonite Central Committee

Suicide

Visit www.suicideinfo.ca for provincial and state numbers to call in an emergency

 

1. Why would someone consider suicide?
2. What are the warning signs?
3. What do you do when you think someone is suicidal?
4. What if someone attempts or commits suicide?

 

1. Why would someone consider suicide?

   The risk of actual attempts is greater when several of the following reasons exist and when the person has less support.

   • Depression, hopelessness, loneliness, alienation, rejection, failure, low self-esteem
   • To escape the pain (past or present) of verbal, physical, sexual or emotional abuse
   • Illness or disability that seem impossible to overcome
   • Losing loved ones through death, divorce or broken relationships
   • Inability to live up to parents' or others' expectations
   • Inability to make decisions, handle responsibilities or crises
   • Peer pressure
   • Knowing others who've committed suicide
   • Struggles with sexual identity
   • Trouble with the law or in conflict with family, peers or school
   • The experience of significant rejection

    

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2. What are the warning signs?

   • Loss of interest in life, moodiness
   • Extreme changes in attitudes, ideas or personality
   • Focus on self and withdrawal from people
   • Feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, worthlessness, anxiety, guilt
   • Inability to concentrate
   • Preoccupation with death (talking, writing or drawing about it, statements such as, "People would be better off if I was gone," threatening suicide), physically hurting oneself
   • Increase drug or alcohol use
   • Showing off pills or a newly purchased weapon
   • Giving away prized possessions, saying good-bye to family or friends
   • Sadness over a period of time, followed by a calm or cheerfulness
   • Previous suicide attempts
   • Change in eating or sleeping patterns, poor personal hygiene, serious relational problems, dropping school grades
   • Unexplained rebellion including criminal behavior

    

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3. What do you do when you think someone is suicidal?

   Do:

   • Learn more about suicide before there is a crisis
   • Invite people to talk about sad things in their lives and about suicidal feelings
   • Listen non-judgementally and empathetically, tell them it is okay to feel the way they do, remain calm
   • Seriously consider their expressions about wanting to die
   • Reassure them of your love and care, say "I love you," if you can say it honestly
   • Pray silently
   • Assure them that everyone goes through some very dark times in their lives
   • Assure them that there can be ongoing help: counselling, therapy, medication, support groups
   • Give a hug or hold a hand (ask first to make sure they want this)
   • Develop a contract (such as before you attempt suicide you will call me)
   • Ask if they have a plan to kill themselves and a way to carry out their intentions; if they do, don't leave them alone
   • Get help - call an adult you trust or a crisis line, remove weapons or pills, get the person to a crisis unit or to emergency, call the police if there is danger of someone getting hurt

    

   Do not:

   • Do not promise not to tell because you may need to call in help
   • Do not lecture
   • Do not say things that undermine the serious nature of what the person is feeling
   • Do not give simplistic answers or say that everything will be all right because that does not affirm how they are feeling right now
   • Do not try reverse psychology and say,"Go ahead and do it."
   • Do not try to handle the situation alone

    

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4. What if someone attempts or commits suicide?

   • Remember that God loved your friend and that God loves you
   • Allow yourself to grieve, to be sad, to be angry, to cry
   • Talk to other people who also loved the person who died
   • Remember the good times and the nice things the person did but allow yourself to be angry at that person too (that is a normal reaction)
   • Reflect on scriptures such as Psalm 121, Psalm 91, or 1. Peter 5:7 that may bring comfort
   • Do not blame yourself or others
   • Remember that other people may feel guilty, ashamed, angry and depressed (these are normal reactions)
   • Go to the viewing, the memorial service or funeral and visit the grave site
   • Journal, draw, or talk to express your sad and angry feelings
   • Remember that although pain may last a long time, things will get better eventually

    

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Taken from Talk about it, Youth and Suicide brochure.