Mennonite Central Committee

Betty's Story

July 2007

A short-term mission trip to India was supposed to be a homecoming for Betty. Instead, it brought fear, pain and vulnerability. But it also brought renewed connections to family, friends and God.

"After travelling with a village evangelism team on a short-term mission assignment, I left with two other women from the group to go to the city of Shambashbad, on the way to visit my daughter, son-in-law and three grandchildren in south India. It was like going home. I had lived in this part of India with my husband doing mission work, our children had been born there. I was looking forward to the weekend because we were going to stay in the house we had lived in, which had since been turned into a guesthouse. I felt good about that connection, but it turned out differently than I anticipated.

The guesthouse was on a Bible college compound and there was a couple from California also staying there. The evening we arrived, I walked my two companions to a showing of the “Jesus film”. I did not want to stay, so I walked back to the guesthouse by myself. I had a flashlight and a key and was very familiar with the walk, having done it many times when I lived there before. When I arrived back, the cook was just leaving for the night. When she saw me return, she wanted to stay with me, but I told her that I was alright and that she should go home. I went into the bungalow and got some things ready for the next day. The cook had locked the door behind her, but I had purposefully left the front door unlocked for my companions and the living room light on.

I lay down on my cot in the dark, reminiscing about all the wonderful times I had had with my family in this place. Looking back, I don’t know whether I felt someone might be watching me. In retrospect maybe I did. The light in the living room went off, but the fan stayed on so I knew it couldn’t be a power outage. I got up to get a new bulb and saw that there was a stranger by the door. He grabbed me by the shoulder, I felt so threatened. I said to him, “Who are you and what do you want?” He didn’t answer, so I asked him again in Telugu, the local language, and he gave me his name. Then he said, “I love you” in English and I yelled at him to get out.

But he had looked over the situation; he knew what he was up to. It was dark and I was alone. He threw me back down on my cot and covered my mouth. I knew I just couldn’t give in so I scratched his face. He put his hands under my shirt, but I was wearing American style clothes, so he could not undress me. My clothes turned out to be a blessing.

He then left and I didn’t know what to do. I thought somebody had to know - I couldn’t just wait until they came back. I started screaming and kept screaming, only stopping to take short breaths. I had never screamed like that before in my life. It didn’t take long for a woman I knew from the school to come back with her son. When I recognized her, I said, “Virginia, you are like an angel in the night."

Soon, the whole living room was filled with people. My travelling companions, the couple from California, the cook, people from the school, the principal and pastor. I started weeping uncontrollably, I was hysterical. I experienced great care and compassion from my companions, who stayed with me and the pastor and college principal who prayed with me.

The next day, I went to the local hospital to have my shoulder looked at. It wasn’t very serious and the doctor was more concerned about my emotional well-being. Because of this, I decided to continue on with my plans to visit my daughter and her family. I think that was a saving feature of this experience, a healing one.

Being with my family made me feel safe and secure. My daughter could hardly believe what happened as she had also spent time at that Bible college and remembered it as a safe place. We told my grandchildren that I had been hurt and they were very considerate. I followed my family wherever they went during the three weeks I was with them.

It turned out that the principal from the Bible college and his wife were taking the same flights to Canada that I was. Travelling with them was a great comfort. It was their first time travelling internationally, so I got to be a support for them as well, which felt good.

I had warned my late husband’s family, with whom I would be visiting in Vancouver that I would be coming back with my arm in a sling. This helped prepare them for my story. I told them what had happened when we were all together. That was a healing thing too. They were all surprised, as one might usually associate this type of thing with a younger person. I don’t know if my assailant had any idea of my age.

I found a lot of comfort talking with my family and with trusted friends. My faith and hope in God, knowing that he was with me at all times, was a great help. I shared with my pastor at home and also had sessions with a Christian counsellor. I got the medical help I needed. All of this brought me to a point of healing and even of forgiveness. The experience is no longer hanging over me; it is no longer controlling me. For a while I thought I would never go back to India, but now I am not closed to going back. I’ve had so many positive experiences with Indian people that this one can’t take over all those others.”

 

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